Monday, July 14, 2008

Stumpleg Shortstride Sent Home Limping

AVALON, NJ – In a surprising move deep into the night on Sunday in this small beach community, THOD General Manager Incredible Hick announced that as of Monday contributor Stumpleg Shortstride, an original contributor to the popular blog site had been fired.

“The time has come where I felt we needed to go in a different direction,” Incredible Hick said amongst a throng of reporters and onlookers as he stood in front of a makeshift podium atop the deck 246 East 28th Street, “Stumpleg just wasn’t getting everything out of the current bloggers that we expected him to, and it was time for a change”

Stumpleg Shortstride hadn’t posted anything to the THOD for months, creating controversy through every anticipatory click by readers and admirers alike hoping to find something spawn from what Incredible Hick at one time claimed Shortstride to be, “one of the best potential bloggers of our time.”

When asked about the dismissal, longtime blogger Rubbery Hangdown said, “The circus surrounding Stumpleg was a terrible distraction. Every day we’d come to the blog thinking is this going to be his last day. Will he be with us for the rest of the season? One way or another, it will be nice not to have the focus on him, and now on us.”

At press time Shortstride was not available, but all indications are that he had no idea the axe was coming this quickly. Phone calls went unanswered, and the message on his i-douce phone said that he was "returning some videotapes."


Flyers GM Tony Luuppo, who also attended the press conference had the following to say as he screamed from across 28th street, “What??? Who????? What are you talking about? You’re an idiot. And why do you have a podium on your deck? And stop calling me Luuppo!”

Stumpleg also made waves just weeks ago when he questioned THOD ownership and management if his lack of production was being magnified simply because he was, as he called it,“brown.” Recently, Stumpleg threw a huge tirade when the following picture was made public just days ago.

















Shortstride had complained that that Incredible Hick was directly mocking his heritage by having two “hotties” pose in traditional Headdress. When asked about the photo, Incredible Hick said the following, “Stumpleg’s insinuations are ridiculous. I love Indians; in fact, I can quote Major League word for word. That Corbin Bernsen is outta sight” Strike this, GUY, out!"












When asked to comment on the decision to let Stumpleg go, owner and founder of THOD, Yoder Lee, had the following to say, "As owner, I gave Incredible Hick, the managing director, full control of all day to day operations including changes to the staff. It was his call.” THOD owner Yoder Lee has been laying extremely low over the past couple of weeks attempting to stay off the radar, due to his bad health and extreme sunburn. His last know picture was this.




















At this late hour, there has been no announcement as to who will take Stumpleg Shortstride’s place. However, it was been rumored that Mr. Walter Melon, a young Hebrew lad hailing from the little town of Bethlehem, and Len Clergy, a good Christian from long island, are strong candidates.

Please continue to read THOD for more breaking news on this firing. Incredible Hick has called a press conference for 7pm Wednesday off Main Street, Manayunk.

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