Things I hate and don't understand

As I take a break from day "one" of cramming a full semester worth of studying into a one week period, I began to think of all the things that annoy me. Since this break consisted of TV watching, I realized what pisses me off the most…

We are currently in the midst of one of the worst runs of commercials ever made. Although I can't name them all, in the spirit of the Hick, I decided to make a short list of the three worst:

#1 is the Jell-O pudding comercial with a kid and some idiot in a cow costume doing the Wiggle and Giggle dance. All along there is a song playing that goes a little something like this:

Jiggle and a Wigglin' free,
in a Wiggle and Jigglin' spree.



Just those two lines, over and over and over and over again. The kid and the cow are doing some kind of dance in unison, and the kid is eating pudding. The newer one has a whole board room of “executives” over-acting and showing that in real life they are obviously some of the worst people in the country.

For some reason the whole thing makes me really uncomfortable and angry to the point where I want to put my fist through the TV, slap the kid, and choke the cow. I want the kid to just sit the hell down and eat his pudding, and I want the dude in the cow costume to stand up, look himself in the mirror and answer this question: "Buddy – where did it all go wrong?”

Now that I think about it, the cow might be some kind of huge puppet. I really can't tell since every time I see it my eyes get blinded with rage. Apprently some guy named Chris G. thought of this first for his site.


The Second commercial that shows most commercial makers are complete morons is the Dr. Scholl’s “Gellin” commercials. Idiotic, stupid and pointless are just a few words to describe this campaign.


“Buddy – I just banged your wife.”
“I don’t care, I just put new pads in my Doc Martins so my feet are gellin.”

Who comes up with this garbage? I want it to stop, and I want it to stop NOW.
Luckily, I am not the only one to feel this way. If you feel, as I and many others do, please visit this website and let your voice be heard.

http://www.petitiononline.com/pitt9179/petition.html

The final example is one that makes me question everything I ever thought I knew about married life, husband/wife roles and responsibilities, and just all around normalcy.

When Burger King decided to do the Sponge Bob –no pants ad, apparently they didn’t think of the following:

Why on earth is this guy taking a bubble bath, by himself, in the middle of the day?

Why is the door to the bathroom wide open with his wife and kids just hanging around in the hallway?

Apprently, since everyone is home, it is a Saturday afternoon – aren’t the Phillies or Sixers on? Doesn’t he have anything better to do than “soak” in a tub?

Didn’t the director of the commercial say to himself “I just taped a 40 year old fat guy standing naked with soap suds covering his body and a sponge on his head – my career has taken a drastic turn for the worse”?

When I see the jell-o commercial, I get pissed. The Dr. Scholl’s commercial, annoyed. When I see this, I immedialty become disgusted.

Few other comments…


I attended a trade show for work last week. After hours of the standard “Cant wait to get to the lobby for a beer” and “Did you have trouble getting here because of the weather” conversations, a younger blonde girl (maybe mid twenties) came up to my booth to ask a few questions. As I am in mid-answer, there was a series of movements from the other person. It took me a minute to realize what had just taken place. After rubbing my eyes, I realized that my initial interpretation of the movements was correct.

A full grabbing of the seem of the pant and a solid, full-throttled crotch itch. I thanked her and left.


Finally, is there some troop of hot girls who wander around going from bed to bed eating crackers? Why has this occurance, that I would assume cant happen all that often, deserve such a saying.

“Was she hot?”
“I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers.”

I would think more information would be needed to decide if this would be true or not. Did some guy just come home from work and some random girl was eating crackers in his room? Then, I think I would kick her out. If, on the other hand, she had spent the night and she was hungry the next morning, then maybe it would be ok to eat the cracker in bed. I just dont think a blanket statement like that can be made and have it be true every time.