Is Philly hot 'cause it's fly?

Noooo, sir. Philly ain't 'cause it's not. In fact, the current state of affairs is enough to make a young man long for the days when he can strap on a good boat shoe and head east, due south, to Avalon, NJ.

Just when it all seems to be too much...
- record murder rate
- last place Phils
- faltering civic leadership in response to aforementioned murder rate
- fans referring to the Big Guy as or "R-Ho" or, even worse, "Clubber"
- state whoring the city out so corporate fat cats can bend it over and give it 10 full throbbing inches of backdoor casino lovin'
- city wage tax

...chin up, good citizen! Shavy is back on the bench and suiting up for your Seventy-sixers!