Hick Likes to List Things

He also likes to speak on behalf of THoD when making said lists and crowning people and things "official". With that said, here is THoD's official list of the best breakfast cereal:

Life is best enjoyed quickly, as it tends to get soggy shortly after adding the milk.











This is good. It's too bad that a lot moms don't buy it for their kids. Also, Count Chocula's philosophy is something I could really get behind, unlike the b.s. that cereal mascots like Tony the Tiger constantly spew.










The Golden Graham should always be kept on the top shelf or in the top drawer, where it belongs. It's top notch!

Casi-poss?... CasiNO!

Act now, good citizen, or be faced with a city overrun with dirtasses:

Mayor Street will either approve the casino referendum or veto it this Thursday, March 29, 2007.

Please help the Mayor make the right decision. Call his office and
ask that the Mayor sign the casino referendum.

His phone numbers: 215-686-2181 or 215-686-2187 or 215-686-7508

No time, wrong time or too shy? Write a letter using Hallwatch:

http://www.hallwatch.org/faxbank/casino_ballot_question

A Hallwatch letter has the added benefit of putting City Council on
notice that their help may be needed. If the Mayor vetos the
referendum, it will be up to City Council to override it. 12 votes are
necessary.

Two weeks ago City Council approved the casino referendum which, if
passed by Philadelphia voters, would ban casinos from locating within
1500 feet of homes, schools and churches.

The Mayor's public statements suggest that he is leaning towards
vetoing the referendum, BUT he hasn't ruled out approving it, either.

"The Mayor believes the bill is illegal," spokesman Joe Grace told
Hallwatch. "Absent compelling evidence, he is likely to veto this
bill.

So let the Mayor's staff know your top 3 reasons for why he should
sign the referendum.

Some suggestions:

* Let the people decide what is best for them. Residents, and not
politicians, should decide whether Las Vegas size casinos and
neighborhoods go well together.

* The "Neighborhood Mayor" should support the will of tens of
thousands of petition signers who brought this bill before City
Council.

* The Mayor's legacy is on the line. Does Mayor Street really want to
be remembered as the man who denied a million Philadelphians their
say on siting casinos?

--

Ed Goppelt
Webmaster @ hallwatch.org

HOITY TOITY

"HOITY TOITY"

THOD really doesn't know what this saying means, but THOD knows it doesn't like it, and doesn't like people who use it, because they don't know how to use it. Locals and South Philly and Manyunk like to use it when describing people they think are going to come in and take over their neighborhoods. It seems it has taken over from the use of the word "Yuppie-Fuck," used so geniunely by degenarates that are only in the neighborhood because their 90 year-old dad still deficates in a bedroom upstairs, smoking his tenth heater of the day while sucking down oxygen tank. THOD hates them too, because they have a handicap spot in front but haven't driven since What's Happening.

Locals fear that these "HOITY TOITIES" will make their local bars smoke-free and actually not throw trash in the street. THOD's 100% sure they don't know idea what the saying means either.

Nevertheless, from this point moving forward it is banned. For life.

In other news for a Monday, THOD is also banning for life the saying or the movie "HUSTLE AND FLOW"

Unless of course it is changed to "HUSTLE AND BLOW"

Good Blow: (Happy Day)

Underworld Blow: (Bad Blow)

Speaking of which, take a look at today's Daily News Front Page. If you can't see it, the headline reads "HER MISSING DAUGHTER WAS SWEPT UP IN SMACK'S SURGE IN 'BURBS"

THOD has recieved exclusive reports that SMACK was chosen at a late hour last night before printing instead of YAM-YAM. Ridiculous.

It has also been released that THOD is now endorsing the show Charmed which can be viewed each and everyday in 4 hours marathons on TNT. It features some runner-ups from THOD's Top 5 published last week that includes:

THOD also today is officially endorsing spicy mustard and trombones as being out of sight.

Fancy Friday!

THOD never had the chance to wish Chris Heis a fare the well as he embarked on Bulgaria or Estonia or somewhere with an 'ia' on Wednesday for 5 weeks where he filming a movie that will depict the true life story of one of my personal heroes...

Save travels Middy! Pick up a communicable for Cummy!

White Jacket

Richard,

How was the trip to your doctor on Thursday?

First Pitch

Every Day is a Day Closer to Opening Day, which obviously will be The Happiest of Days...

Look at the little guy!

Early Endorsement

THOD usually doesn't enjoy bringing serious maters into our blog, (see posts, Seymour Butts and POOF!,) however, THOD feels it absolutely necessary to comment after today's events in congress.

THOD also realizes that many of our readers are pro-human being and pro-mammal, and very much appreicates that fact many of our readers are anti-degenerate, anti-scumbag (republican). Let us say thank your for feeling that way.

So based on this information, and what has come to light, THOD is officially making its endorsement for the 2008 Presidential election. THOD supports Al Gore.

Here's why fans. America loves to give second chances, espeically after someone has been humbled and has been successfully able to re-invent themselves.



See Ronald Reagan, Teri Hatcher, George Forman, or Alan Thicke.



.









.




As a society, we love to tear our politicans and celebrites down, yet cheer and applaud them when they have been grounded such as Al was. Many of us, including myself, thought he ran an awful campagin against Bush the first time, coming off as pompous, arrogant, and honestly not someone you would want to hang out and have a beer with. See Dubya and Billy.






Reality is, if you would have recommended to THOD that Gore should be the next president of this country months ago, weeks ago, or even days ago, THOD would have said, no way, fitter-fatter young friend.

But times have changed, and Gore does have star power now. He was that good today, and stole the show. Bottom line he was flat-out tremendous and incredible.

Smartly, he should take his time and slowly inch his way into the race because comparitively, Obama is fad, Hil is blah, and Edwards is good, but not good enough.


So Run, Al, Run, you've got THOD's vote and maybe its six readers. Its a start!

TOP 5

#1 Jennifer

#2 Scarlett

#3 Jessica

# 4 Sandra

#5 Clair

Poof!

THOD has something that is worth passing along both literally and physically the next time you are in the car for an extended period of time with friends, perhaps in the midst of a long road trip, and even more perhaps after a long night of the drinking and whathaveyou and you might now be at your best, say, intestinally.

Bottom line: Your droppin bombs that are as potent and lethal as spending a weekend with Coach Cummy and the Club Secrets squad without a party hat.

Keep in mind, timing with this suggestion is of the essence.

First make sure the windows are on lock mode.

Second, and this is where the timing is critical, let the wind break from your behind with a vengeance, but make sure it is of the silent variety.

In the seconds between the gasser leaves your body and enters the unkempt nose hairs of our com-padres, recommend, "Does anyone know if there is a bakery around here? I can really smell freshly baked bread. Boy, that bread smells delicious. Take a good whiff, friends, do you smell that?

If they followed your instructions, at this time your friends should be a mouthful into tasting and inhaling some of the foulest flatulence found in Philadelphia.

Suckers.

**This story is complements of Scott Allan Goon.

I beg your pardon?

I couldn't, I shouldn't, I wouldn't...

Happy St. Pat!

A little more than 2 weeks until The Big Day

Buddy, let's play ball, whaddya say?

(note, Dateless has been cropped out of this image)
photo credit: The Big Goiter

Dude, where's my copy of Seymour Butts #7?

Why did the Eagles just give away Dante Stallworth? It's kind of like the guy at senior dinners who stands on the table, while steaks get flung wildly around the room and other seniors yell to give him some fuckin respect, and gives away his porn collection to an underclassman. What is that guy thinking - he's not going to need his porn once he graduates and moves to a house in Manayunk with a basement that smells like gas and a toilet that constantly runs?? He's already familiar with his porn and knows it's dependable. Stallworth already knows the Birds offense, a system that is supposedly difficult to grasp, and he's performed well as a dependable deep threat. Meanwhile, the Pats get another good receiver - just like a younger guy with his own porn assortment. And the Eagles go out and sign a wide receiver who's unproven after 4 seasons in the league and happened to score one of the highest marks ever on the wunderlick test. Buddy, good luck with the new DVDs you just picked up at Risque in Southwest. Hopefully those 72 hours of action are well worth it!

SNEEZE

Great news for the dirtasses!

THWS - The High White Sock? No, No... THWS - The High White Stuff. Get after it on the weekdays boys, beacuse survey now says, you can now take one!

Hospital heart attack patients do better on weekdays
By Josh Goldstein
INQUIRER STAFF WRITER

There's never a good time to have a heart attack, but some days are apparently worse than others.
A study published in today's New England Journal of Medicine reports that New Jersey heart attack patients admitted to hospitals on weekends between 1987 and 2002 were more likely to die than those who went in during the week.
The death rate for weekend heart attack sufferers was significantly higher one day after admission as well as at one month, six months and a year later, according to the analysis by researchers from the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.
"Our research suggests that a lower use of invasive procedures, such as angioplasty, to unblock arteries in patients admitted over the weekend is part of the difference," said William J. Kostis, a medical student at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Brunswick and the study's lead author.

THWS

With this nice weather we've been having the past couple of days, THOD has really started longing for those days and nights down the shore that are not that far off.

It there are any goals for 2007, year of the Tid, down the shore it is to have at least one day at at the back bay that can be as happy a day as say this...









To top off the day I would cetainly enjoy a night on the deck or the Whitebrier, not the P mind you, where you might find someone like this...











Alas though, even this happiest of days doesn't pan out, you can always count on a happy day on something that delivers comfort and quality every time. Of course I speak of sporting something like this....








THWS!

Red Itch

Based on their new uniform, there is one reason you should cheer for the Reds this season to win the NL Central.

Everything about this patch is outstanding. This young man would be a great guy to hang out with, I think we should ask him to split the wing at North 3rd when the 'Natti comes to town.






I betcha this rascal enjoys a good Tid as well.

BLIMEY!

Although we continue to celebrate the Saint Patrick whathaveyou over the next couple days and next weekend...

Let's be sure to keep focus and perspective as to what we celebrate all year round in 2007.




THE YEAR OF THE TID!

I have an announement to make

This just in...

The 2007 Official Chig of THOD (That's The Happiest of Days to you and me) has been crowned this Sunday evening and can be found below.

The voting held was straw poll that was conducted with three bendy straws over delicious margaritas on a balmy March Sunday night. The result was unanimous.








For many reasons, she's always been a phenomenal favorite of mine and should now be one of yours.

I "Can't Hardly Wait" until JLH appears in her next feature. She's top drawer, notch, and has an outstanding top altogether.

Seriously?

This is borderline ridiculous.

Notes: Burrell wearing contacts
Outfielder said that corrective lenses make no difference
By Ken Mandel / MLB.com

CLEARWATER, Fla. -- With the regular goal of making more contact, Pat Burrell got contacts.
The left fielder was fitted for corrective lenses on Thursday, and spent a good part of Friday morning trying to insert them. Jayson Werth, who's been wearing contact lenses since his teens, offered advice. Jason Hill helped.

While this isn't something Burrell asked for or feels he needs, he'll give it a try.

"I could understand if I went to them and said, 'I'm not seeing anything,'" Burrell said. "I never complained. This guy gave me a screening and said, 'You need to come in.' I said I'll try them. They don't help."

Burrell contends that his vision is fine, and he may be right. Still, red flags were raised during his annual eye exam because he didn't pass as handily as usual. He went to a local eye doctor earlier this week. There were whispers about Burrell's eyesight last season when he continued to take called third strikes.

On Day 1, Burrell wore them during batting practice and said "the ball looked the same." Since he's only supposed to wear them for a few hours each day, he didn't wear them for the game against the Red Sox. He went 0-for-3 with two strikeouts, but is hitting .286 this spring.
Burrell has some irritation and discomfort when he looks down -- common with new contact lenses -- but he'll see what happens.

"I never had a problem with my eyes," Burrell said.

The good news is that Burrell's sore back, which prevented him from taking trips to Sarasota and Bradenton on Monday and Tuesday, respectively, felt good enough to go to Winter Haven on Thursday, and he played again on Friday. His right foot, a regular issue over the past two seasons, even after surgery in the winter of 2005, also feels good.

As for his eyes, hitting coach Milt Thompson said the contacts can't hurt.

"Why not?" he said. "I think he's fine, but I think sometimes he takes balls that are very close with two strikes that you have to foul off. That's just my opinion. He's got them now, so we'll see [if they help]."

VUK

Although this blog is aptly named, the Happiest of Days....

Today we mourn one of the darkest days in Phillies history. A Philadelphia icon passed away much to early. For those of you who are true Phillies fans who know whom I speak of.



If you go to phillies.com, there are many memories of Vuk from a variety of influential players and coaches in the game. The first I list is of course from my favorite current Phillie and it says a lot:

"I got my first taste of the big leagues around Vuk. He showed me the proper way to go about my business and I respected him a lot for that. His knowledge of baseball was second to none and I'm definitely going to miss him." -- Chase Utley

But ironically my favorite comes from an icon himself that was featured last week on this website. This quote by itself, makes me enjoy Vuk more more than the fungo bat, infield drills, and bunting that was his responsiblity for so many years.

"We talked on the phone 3-4 times a week for years. He loved to hang up in the middle of a conversation which would tick me off. Vuk called me every year on my birthday, including this January when he was in a weakened condition. That really touched me. In life you can count your real, real friends on one hand. He was one of my five fingers."

-- Don Zimmer, Senior Baseball Advisor, Tampa Bay Devil Rays

So when you're at the ballpark this spring or summer and you see the Phillies uniform that has some type of patch or black on it, know that it is honoring a guy that managed to stick around baseball for over 40 years and truly lived the dream.

I may be 30, but...

please stop using this phrase. I get it.

Monday Monday

Three quick items for a Monday.

#1 Dave. Everyone should be so lucky to have a picture someday that looks as good as this:

#2 How I met your mother, so good. I know many of you enjoy Jack Bauer and 24. I think this is mostly because when you go to work the next day you can say, "Hey did you see 24 last night?" to the guy who sits next to you that wears the short athletic sock with the dress shoe. So 24's good and all, but you're truly missing an outstanding show in "How I met Your Mother." CBS does a nice job with this and odds are the chigs are better too. They closed out this weeks episode with the song Fernando, which is equally outstanding. Don't knock it until you try it.

#3 Cook died today. In this time of unrest, we morn together. In honor of Cook, all fountain soda machines will be filled at half glass.

R.I.P Buddy!

Idol Update...Only 12 left!!!

I am sorry to report, that due to last week's move, I missed several episodes. However, I did not want to leave all of you on the edge of your seats, wondering who will not be back for this week's showdown.

I can, however, assure you of the following: all four of the contestants that were cut really sucked. Three should not have been there in the first place - terrible singing, terrible style, terrible everything.

However, special mention should be made for one elite contestant who is no longer with us. Although Alaina was not the most talented constestant, she was one of the hottest the show has seen in some time. Her singing just couldnt compete with the likes of Kelly Clarkson, whose career accomplishments include the song of Avalon 2004-2006, Since you Been Gone, and critically acclaimed films, such as From Justin to Kelly. Nor could Alaina keep up with the star power of Tony Romo's girlfriend, Carrie underwood. Nonetheless, she will be missed. Please see my special photo montage of her below...

Rankings:

Since I didnt see last week, I cant go into too much detail here. However, as of today, it is a two person race:

Still holding on to the #1 slot is Lakisha Jones. However, Melinda Doolittle is hot on her heels. At this point, the rest are just spectators. And if the underdogs dont make their moves quickly, their 15 minutes will be up sooner than they think.

TMS.