Outraged...but why?

Every year, certain themes seem to emerge as the primary focus of our Avalon houses. Theses of past summers include consistent power hours and game playing as in the Taj, the intense practical joking by Micah in Nipsy, or the incredible drug use by RickEEE. Regardless of the year, house inhabitants always knew what to expect from Friday to Sunday. This year is no exception. This year, when people arrive on South 6th Street, everyone can expect to experience some sort of unusual, unnecessary, dramatic event. Like the gunman of Philadelphia, the histrionics can erupt at any time, with no apparent motive, pattern or rational.

I would like to formally retract all of my statements from early Sunday morning. Please allow me to address them in order:

To Paul, Amanda, Kelli and Ryan, please accept my apologies for waking you up and listening to my thoughts. Not since Mel Gibson’s attack on our Jewish brothers has such an unwarranted attack been the result of a night of drinking. Mel was wrong. And so was my telling Kelli that she isn’t that terrible. Thanks must go out, however, to Chris and Fitz. Without your constant support to my cause, the episode would probably have lasted 30 seconds, instead of fifteen minutes.

Secondly, as if they don’t have it rough enough already, my heart goes out to all the hobos that spend time at the Jersey shore. All they want is a dry bed and a hot shower. I can’t imagine how many more hobos hoped to take a break from the hustle and bustle of begging for spare change in front of Wawa and watching my car when I park in front of their air vent, only to find their reservations had been cancelled during my night of passion. There will always be room for our smelly friends. (Hobos: Upon arrival, please look for the Phillies blanket and Barney sheets and take a load off.)


Finally, and what I feel worst about, is my attack on shut-ins. They have done nothing but build this country from the ground up, fight ours wars, and sire our families. Although their mobility may not be what it once was, that does not mean they should not be able to enjoy all Avalon has to offer. My yelling at the sky degrading all shut-ins was unnecessary, and quite frankly un-American. So to all the silver-foxes that were hoping to spend some time at the Welcome Center, please accept this invitation.


There are bigger issues, however. What prompted this most recent outburst? Who is to blame? Will these outbursts continue? These are these questions that we will all have to work together to comprehend. The coming days, months, and years will be very important to understand these, and other pressing issues of the house. Until that day is upon us, let us all toast the mysteries of the glorious shore weekends.