THOD meet SOD (Standard Operating Douchebag)

End of summer bummer gotcha down?

No more shore house to treat as your own personal pleasure palace?

Not to worry, you can "meet me at the P" all fall and winter long - the PH that is.

With a glorious second half, THOD is happy to report that the AVALON DOUCHEBAGS have extened their PRINCETON regular season and look forward to the upcoming PUBLIC HOUSE playoffs.

Game time is 11:05 Friday night, the DOUCHEBAGS will be wearing their visting skin tight weirdo uniforms, and drinking stoli's and sugar free RBVS.

Gotta keep it tight.

Tribute to Notre Dame

Bud Light Salutes the Blue and Gold

Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional, Irrational Notre Dame football Fan....

Announcer: Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high pre-season ranking.

Backup singer: Why aren't we number one??

Announcer: You scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Irish lose to yet another grossly inferior opponent.

Backup singer: Charlie's headset was broken!

Announcer: Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of championships won 20 years before you were born.

Backup singer: We wore leather helmets!!

Announcer: You will point out that you have more heisman winners than any other program, as though that is relevant to the current season.

Backup singer: Been playing since the 1880ssssss!

Announcer: Go on, ignore that home loss to Boston College in the regular season for the 6th consecutive time in a row...

Backup singer: BC has better Christians!!

Announcer: And continue to believe that you'll actually win a bowl game some time this century.

Backup singer: We're O for the 2000's!!!

Announcer: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the pre-season polls come out next year.

Backup singer: Mr. Delusional, Irrational and Hopelessly Pathetic Irish Fannnnnnn!

ONE STEP CLOSER!!!

The Philadelphia sports scene has been on fire the last few weeks. The start of the Eagles season, along with a surging Phillies team has made this September one to remember. And for the readers of THOD who are also Nittany Lions fans, the start of this season has been nothing less than great.

However, let us not forget that there is another professional sports franchise that is making some off-season moves that will not soon be forgotten.

The teams that combined on December's Allen Iverson blockbuster trade hooked up for another deal Monday.
Philadelphia and Denver agreed to a deal that sends reserve center Steven Hunter and second-year forward Bobby Jones to Iverson's Nuggets for forward Reggie Evans and the draft rights to Puerto Rican forward Ricky Sanchez.
The Nuggets knew they were thrusting themselves into luxury-tax territory when they won the Iverson Sweepstakes, but this deal will enable them to shed nearly $8 million in salary. This leaves at least some of THOD's readers asking why a team like the Sixers, who have not been in any legitimate free-agent dealings in recent years due to salary cap restrictions, would want to add more salary.
"This move greatly helps us add depth at our center position while reducing our inventory of power forwards," Mark Warkentien, Denver's vice president of basketball operations, told The Associated Press. "Reggie played a valuable role for us during his time in Denver and we appreciate his professionalism."
The Nuggets also are getting themselves a backup for veteran center Marcus Camby by tapping into their depth at power forward, believing that Evans would have struggled for minutes with Kenyon Martin expected to make his comeback from a second microfracture knee surgery and with Nene Hilario and George Karl favorite Eduardo Najera also ahead of him at the position.
"Steven is an athletic, 7-foot big man, a Mile High runner that can block shots," Warkentien told AP. "We think his presence will provide us with a more balanced roster. Bobby is an intriguing young player, who really played well at the end of the season."

So, THOD readers can understand the Nuggest rational, but what do the Sixers get?
In Evans, Philadelphia lands one of the league's foremost per-minute rebounders. Evans offset his offensive limitations by averaging 7.0 boards in 17.1 minutes per game for the Nuggets last season and has a career average of 7.2 rebounds in just 19.9 minutes.
"He is an accomplished rebounder that we feel will make an immediate impact and will exemplify our commitment to hard work, rebounding and defense," 76ers general manager Billy King told AP.
Sanchez's rights were acquired by the Nuggets along with the draft rights to Linas Kleiza in exchange for the draft rights to Jarrett Jack in a draft-day deal in 2005.
"At 6-11, Ricky Sanchez is a young prospect that has potential and we will continue to monitor his development as he plays overseas," King told AP.

And for you Nittany Lion fans, the biggest news of all came later in the day yesterday.
The Sixers agreed to terms with free agent Calvin Booth. The 6-foot-11 center played in 44 games with Washington last season, averaging 1.6 points and 1.8 rebounds. Booth has a career average of 3.5 points and 2.9 rebounds in eight seasons.
If there's a risk for the 76ers, it's the foot injury suffered by starting center Samuel Dalembert while playing for Canada in the recent pre-Olympic qualifying tournament in Las Vegas. Yet King said last week that the club expects Dalembert to be ready for the start of training camp Oct. 2 in Durham, N.C. Dalembert started all 82 games last season.
Hunter has been available via trade for well over a year, after the Sixers nearly dealt him to New Orleans in February 2006. The trade with the Hornets, halfway through Hunter's first season in Philadelphia, would have sent two second-round picks to Philadelphia but was rescinded by the Hornets because of unspecified health concerns. The 7-footer averaged 6.4 points and 4.8 minutes for the Sixers last season, playing 70 games and averaging 22.9 minutes.

So there it is. Order the season tickets now. Shaq and D-Wade? They have no chance. LeBron and AI's former Flight Brother Larry Hughes? Forget about them. Rasheed and Chauncy? those old Muckety Mucks are done. This year, the East will see a new comination of Superstars. This year, look out for Reggie Evans and Calvin Booth.

Marc Stein is the senior NBA writer for ESPN.com. The Associated Press contributed to this report.

How Do You 5?

At the end of the day, who's the better 5?

5 or...



5?



I know who gets my vote, and its a no brainer.

5.

1.5 out at the time of posting.

The Man?

I recently caught up with The Hamburglar to get his thoughts on being crowned The Man by THOD's reader(s). It was a rather short interview, the transcript of our conversation is below:

Hi Hamburglar.

Listen, can you keep this interview short?

Sure Ham. I'll try my best.

Thanks, brah.

First question: what are your thoughts on being crowned The Man by THOD's readers?

My first thought was, 'who gives a shit?'. Am I right? Who'd you poll? Retards? THOD readers obviously dont know shit about baseball. Chase Utley is an MVP candidate, and they vote for me, scum of the earth sandwich burglar who hangs around with a molester clown and loser purple monster...

Umm, okay... just one more question, 'where do you go from here'?

Well, first I'm gonna head up to Neshaminy in the Northeast. They just opened a new MickeyD's up there... plenty of kids to rob, target rich environment, maybe i'll even snatch me a Dr Pepper and some fries, too. You feelin me? Then I'm gonna just go balls to the wall, freebase in the Eckards parking lot, get a haircut, pick up my new mask from the cleaners, buy a gun, do some crank, and then I'll prob meet up with Grimace. That mumbling fat fuck is always lookin' to get after it.

Well, thanks for the time, Hamburglar.

Yeah, sure. Later hoss!